Chemistry of Attraction : Find Love, Be Happy.

Online Dating Advice For Casual & Long Term Relationships

Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid Oh My

SIDENOTE: ALL OF MY LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS have come through meeting people by doing stuff and just organically meeting interesting girls. I suggest this as the best way if you’re looking for a relationship.

Dating sites tend to be way more hook-up oriented. I’ve meet plenty of girls through Instagram, Tinder, Bumble or OkCupid and it’s basically we meet, go out, have sex, do it again and then the relationship is over. It also makes it more annoying because girls get a lot of attention and they may overlook you due to their hypergamous nature where as in real life they could totally be into you.

Anyways, I digress let’s get to the post 🙂

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Now-a-days with the advent of social media there has been an explosion of dating sites. They are as common as Starbucks and about as popular too. No doubt, online dating has become the modern day match maker. Instead of having your aunt preach the praises of the girl next door, or that of her cute nephew, online dating sites make for a do it yourself solution…all the more reason you need online dating advice and online dating tips to help guide you.

The biggest question most ask is how and where do you meet people that are date worthy? Once you’re done with school and you’re working full time it gets harder and harder. Are you going to meet the love of your life at a bar? At a friends party? Maybe haphazardly when you’re strolling through the mall? Sure, why not. Crazier things have happened…but why put it to chance? This is why online dating has such a level of popularity. It is a buffet of people (delicious).

It can be difficult to meet quality people if you’re single and on your own.

Learning how to date online is useful because if you choose to ignore it, you’re missing out on a wonderful way to meet a variety of people you may never would otherwise. Stop looking at dating sites with skepticism and prejudice (they are selling a service, not crack) and learn how to use online dating sites and have fun with it.

It is your personal catalog of interested persons for date.

The awesome thing about online dating is it acts as a catalog of men and women in every shape size and color. You can literally browse other human beings by category: White, Black, Asian, mix, other. Set predefined height limits, set up filters on who can talk to you and who can not. You can also check out the new arrivals, but stay away from the clearance section (people who get less than one email a day) unless you’re really desperate. Categories also allow you to browse by whatever is your “type” is. Personality? Character? Ambition? Who cares! I want Mr guy-who-plays-in-band or Ms hot blond playboy model.

Internet dating exposes you to more variety. It allows you to meet girls and guys you otherwise would not.

Plain and simple this is the strongest reason to use a dating site (and is specifically why I use online dating in conjunction with going out). How else would I go out with a pro-footballer from Indonesia, a Kenyan model/actress or a Russian girl who’s working as an ESL teacher?

You meet girls/guys all the time, but when you do the same thing week after week, the same 3 bars, the same 4 clubs, in the same 3 towns over and over. The variety starts to dwindle, you find yourself meeting the same type of person over and over again. Online dating can help break this cycle up.

Maybe you’ll meet the busy entrepreneur who works all the time and never gets out, maybe you’ll meet that beautiful family/career oriented girl who doesn’t like bars, or maybe you’ll meet the 35 yr old who live at home with mom and dad and doesn’t go out because he has no friends. There is risk in online dating, but if you arm yourself with the right online dating tips and online dating advice you increase the potential that you might me someone great.

So What Are you Looking for?

Dating sites cater to different crowds. The big multi-purpose ones are OkCupid.com and POF.com. Depending on where you are in the world, their will be niche specific dating websites. For example, a popular website in Thailand for foreigners looking to date Thais is called ThaiFriendly.com. There are many others you can find via a Google search for everything from, Gay, Jewish, Black, senior, Christian, single parents etc.

Lets move onto the profile

Take some time scanning through the list above. Once you have figured out what you are looking for and what site might be right for you, sign up for a site or two… $30–40 a month is not going to break the bank. If you want to cancel after one month, you can really cancel with no worries of future charges.

With that out of the way, let’s cover the topic of actually writing an online dating profile. Make sure your profile explains WHAT you looking for, not just why someone should be interested in you.

Online Dating Profile Tips: A weak uninspiring profile:

I’m a very successful businessman who’s the VP of finance at a fortune 500 company. I like to play base guitar in my rock band, I speak 3 languages, and I save kittens from shelters on the weekend.

What I am looking for: Someone who is nice and cute.

What this is really saying is that 1) You have no idea what you want, and 2)are probably a bit full of yourself, which is not a desirable trait. The good points are you did a good job selling yourself, you just need to focus more on what you want. Develop a more balanced approach.

A stupid generic profile:

Whats up? I’m 24, I like to chill, looking for a cool girl to relax with. My goal is to win the lotto and open a bar.

What I am looking for: Someone who knows how to have a good time. Hit me up if you like what you see.

You come off like an idiot if you write this.

Female online dating profile tips:

Men focus on the pictures more than what you say. So keep your profile descriptive and unique but do not over do it.

Just craft a few nice sentences describing how you have standards, what you are looking for, things you like to do, and what you are generally all about.

Since men send the first email 75% of the time according to POF it is best to create a profile that allows a man to break the ice based off something you wrote, just don’t go overboard because your picture will determine if you get an email or not.

If you don’t write anything interesting, or are negative, don’t be surprised when you’re bombarded with simple one word messages.

Also women tend to get annoyed by this, but I can tell you as a male on Bumble WOMEN DO THE SAME THING. Just send messaged as complex as “hi, hey, hello, how are you?”

Male online dating profile tips:

The nature of an online dating site is to go off the pictures. If a woman does not find your picture attractive she will disqualify you before reading what you wrote. If a woman is REALLY into you and thinks you’re sexy then the opposite is true. What you write will not matter. For decent looking guys we got to play the middle.

My best advice is to be long, descriptive, unique, humorous, and a bit of a smart ass.

Being overly nice and generic is boring and it does not work.

Just to give you an idea here is my personal online dating profile:

It worked amazingly well at getting women to email me as I’m someone who just does not give a fuck hahaha. But seriously, I was bombarded with emails – and it began a lot of conversations that lead to dates, sex and what not. All because I wrote something that really stood out:

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Honestly, whats the point of this part? I don’t think girls actually read this area. You just look at my pics and 1) disqualify me if you don’t think I am cute or 2) you read what I wrote and return my message only *after* viewing my pics to see if I am cute enough.

This is why guys generally don’t put in the effort online because it goes unrewarded. Yea I could talk about how I am in shape and I’m smart and I want a family and I like pets, and I’m entrepreneurial. I could get into all the ways you would be lucky to have a guy like me…but you don’t care about any of that. You just care about what the pics are.

Because I forgot that arrogance is a new trait among so many on this site, that you look down on guys, that because you think your so pretty and wear nice clothes, but have nothing to offer other than your looks you deserve some GQ looking guy. Oh and if you thought I was cute and actually read to this point…high five, what I just wrote was a test to see if girls read profiles or not, and if you don’t think im cute but read this ha ha tricked you, I was probably not that interested in you anyways. (and yes I agree, the above applies to guys as well, …and yes this was meant to be slightly truthful/humorous since most of us go of the pictures, make a + or — decision THEN read the profile….looking forward to see what kind of hate mail I get with this, Ill keep you up to date)

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It’s funny and demonstrate I don’t give a sh#t which women love for whatever reason. Maybe it’s a status thing? Maybe it’s because they’re used to guys being all “oh baby you’re so beautiful I want to meet you” and that lowers their attractiveness because of their weak willed behavior?

Also telling a story works too. I’ve had success when I talk about the lessons I learned in previous relationships and how that has made me a better person. Write in a way so someone can connect with you. When you start getting emails about your profile with girls asking questions about something, you’re doing it right.

First Impressions are everything

We all exaggerate a bit. You’re going to want to say you’re a bit taller than you actually are. That you make a little more money than you actually do. That you weigh a little less than is reality. My personal rule:

Lie enough to get to coffee, but not to get to bed

Don’t say “I’m a millionaire cowboy astronaut who takes time to reflect on my feelings every day”, or “I’m a cover-girl model with a PHD in European history who travels the world”. Blatant false advertising is a no no. It will just wastes your time and theirs. You want to put your best foot forward, but you want the other person to actually be interested in who you are, not who they think you are.

If you’re afraid of rejection then you have to overcome that fear. You will be rejected. You will not be cute enough for some people, thin enough for some people, tall enough for some people…but you know what? Get over it.

Strong points can make up for weak character traits:

Be reasonably honest so when you meet in person, your date won’t be disappointed. You want the person to like you for you. This is easier said than done, but trust me, honesty is the best policy. Always.

A profile is NOT a resume, it is a piece of sales copy advertising YOU

You take time reading reviews before you buy something. Well what the heck do you think online dating is? The profile is your sales copy, your picture is the product, the date is the test to see if it works, and the late night romp means you did the job as advertised.

You need to take time and care when filling this stuff out. It takes practice. Make a word document that is dedicated to what your online profile reads. Work on it and make changes to it little by little till it is perfect. Since it is in a word file you can easily copy and paste it on any site you end up using.

Spell check / grammar / all caps

Spell check your words and understand the difference between your and you’re, their, there, and they’re. This is essential online dating advice. Spelling errors make you look stupid.

Valuable online dating tips also include the warning to never use all caps. It makes you look like an idiot or a 14 year old girl (no offense to 14 year old girls reading this)

WHY AM I YELLING YOU MAY BE WONDERING? I AM YELLING AT YOU TO STOP USING ALL CAPS BECAUSE ANY REASONABLY INTELLIGENT PERSON FINDS THIS ANNOYING.

Exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you’re a girl, it’s OK to use exclamation marks. It makes you come off as happy and energetic. If you’re a guy, it makes you look a bit juvenile. So if you are a man, try to stay away from using exclamation marks if possible, you may think that it shows enthusiasm, but you’re probably wrong.

What you write and what he sees

Buying a house and getting a date, actually have a lot in common. For starters, there’s “code”. “Cozy” means small and cramped, “partial view” means a view of a building that’s in the way, and “great potential” means money pit. The same goes for what you write as a woman. This is how a guy will interpret what you write:

Healthy and Athletic: 15 lbs overweight

loves animals: has 20+ cats

free spirit: might be slutty, aka a potential random hook up

I’m a caring woman: plain looking, over 40, bakes banana bread

Intelligence is sexy: ugly

Girls just wanna have fun: chubby over-weight sorority chick

To have a chance with me: high maintenance,full of themselves

Don’t waste my time/ where are all the good men: a complainer with bad taste in men

If after all this you find yourself having trouble writing a profile that expresses who you are and what you’re all about there are always online dating profile writing services you can check out and leverage. E-yrano is the market leader in this department. They were founded by Evan Mark Katz, a popular online dating coach who has a reputation to uphold (always a good thing)

Finding the One Online is a great course created and produced by Evan Mark Katz, a top ONLINE dating coach. As an online dating coach he specializes in providing online dating help exclusively. His “Finding The One Online” is full of invaluable online dating advice and online dating tips from an expert. If you have gotten a lot of value out of this post so far but would like more specialized training from a professional, you will not be disappointed with Evan.

“Finding the One Online” is a 7 CDs long with a 200 page book filled with advice earned through years of experience from working with clients who struggled to find love online. On top of the course material you also get a workbook with actionable exercises and content that teaches you how to turn your profile into something compelling and unique, as well as how to date online. From migrating from emailing to phone conversations, to overcoming age discrimination, to flirting. Finding the One is an extremely comprehensive course that you will get a lot out of. Learn more about “Finding the One Online” here.

Secrets of Online Dating is a product that provides online dating tips for men. I have done my best to share every possible piece of online dating advice that I know, but if you want professional advice Wygant is excellent . While I am not a fan of David Wyagnt’s blog (I find it a bit silly) I love his products. This is a man knows what he is talking about and really cares. It definitely shows in his work, and his online dating tips are very practical and action oriented towards getting you the girl you want.

Secrets of Online Dating teaches you as a man how you can attract those super hot girls online, the ones you think are out of your league. You can do it, you just need to learn how to do it. That is where David Wygant comes in. His product will walk you though exactly what to say and how to say it so you get better results online. Learn more about the Secrets of Online Dating here.

The profile picture

Time to be creative right? NO. Pick a picture that looks like you. Have a male friend if you’re a girl, or a female friend if you’re a guy to help guide you on which one to use. What you may think looks good may not look so hot to the opposite sex. Its always best to actually ask the opposite sex first when possible. Here are some tips:

What you send vs what she sees

You send: A pic of you with your ex cut out.

She sees: A pic of you with your ex cut out. Girls don’t like that.

You send: You only shirtless.

She sees: A weirdo.

You send: A pic with you and your pet dog.

She sees: A dog lover. Girls like that.

You send: A pic with you and your pet tarantula/python/hamster.

She sees: A Weirdo.

You send: A pic with you and your BMW/Mustang/monster truck.

She sees: A shallow status conscious guy, that thinks he can impress me with toys. She doesn’t date shallow guys.

You send: Your penis

She sees: A creepy porn freak pervert. This is the creepiest pic you can send a girl. It does not turn her on.

You send: A pic of you 20lbs lighter and 7 yrs younger.

She sees: A good looking guy, only to be disappointed when she meets you in person.

You send: You in a tux at a wedding with your friends.

She sees: She is not sure which one is you, but she thinks your cute, oh wait, she thinks your friend is cute. Sorry.

The phone conversation:

After you’ve emailed one another and both like what you see, it’s critical to talk on the phone before you meet. This is not always an absolute, but it is always nice to get as comfortable with one another as possible before you meet.

The idea of talking to a complete stranger can be a bit nerve raking for those shy types, but after you do it a few times, you will get the hang of it. Whenever you talk to someone on the phone for the first time, shoot for a 5–10 minute conversation. If it goes well then by all means go as long as need be. But to avoid the conversation having bouts of awkward silence keep it to 5–10 minutes. Ask them how they like the site, what they do for work. Listen to what the other person says and bounce things off what they say.

Towards the end of the conversation, bring up the idea of meeting for coffee or whatever in person. If you are speaking on the phone then it is obvious the other person would like to get to know you so making plans to meet is a good idea. After you make plans end the conversation. The point of talking on the phone was to develop a level of comfort with the other person as well as make plans. Once both objective are accomplished, be done with it.

One last thing about calling

So you find someone you like on a dating site, exchange a few emails, then move on to having a phone conversation. That goes well so you make some plans to spend an evening together or meet for coffee and….you’re not attracted to them in person.

So what do you do? Simply enjoy the date and call it a night. If they do not call, then they got the hint you’re not interested. If they do call or text, ignore the first time. If a second or third call or text happens, consider having the decency to tell them you’re not interested. Say something like “someone is going to be lucky to have you” (implying that it won’t be me).

From my experience however, this is rarely the case where you will have to tell the other person you’re not interested. Most can figure it out.

If all goes well

You meet someone great and that is the goal (high five). Hopefully a nice relationship will blossom. All thanks to online dating. Remember, online dating should not be your only avenue to meet people. You need to focus on having friends, a life and all that important stuff first before you bring someone else in. Online dating should just simply be another avenue to meet guys and girls you otherwise would not. Nothing more, nothing less.

Books and more books

Actually I only have one book that I recommend is called: How To Date.

This is more for guys. You ask someone out twice. If you contact the girl to spend time and do not get a response, or she tells you she is busy, follow up again a week later. If it’s the same response, that she is busy, has to work, or has other plans. Take it as a hint that she is not interested. Simple advice: When a girl likes you, she will make time for you.

We’ve reached the end!

I think I may have just written one of the longest blog post in the history of blogging. OK that is an exaggeration as a know a few that are a bit longer, but regardless, I hope you got out a lot of useful information,tips, and resources that will help you be more successful online. Like I said way back at the beginning. You will not find a more detailed post covering everything to do with online dating advice and online dating tips than this one. Just remember to be direct and honest. How to tell if a guy likes you is easy, just be honest and direct with him about how you feel. Same goes with women. Just be honest and direct with her about your feeling.

If you got value out of this, please link back with the right anchor text, stumble this monster, or retweet it out. Even if your followers could care less about online dating you could always tell them that through your surfing that you discovered an example of a quality online dating advice post revealing the best online dating tips of any post on the entire web (which is true). You could also say this long blog post that will change their world for the better and give them super powers! Well don’t say that… you’re smart, I’m sure you can think of something 🙂

Thank you for reading.



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